The End of the Road and The Blog

This could be my last thought provoking blog! I am not quitting blogging but I am considering quitting thinking. A new university study suggests that intellectual work – like reading, writing or working on a computer – prompts people to overeat and that might be a cause of obesity. Consequently I am contemplating (rather than thinking about) stopping any more thoughtful blogs.

The study undertaken at Laval University claims to have found that mental work represents a stress factor that stimulates food intake. The researchers hypothesized that the stress might stimulate some hormone that increases appetite. If they are correct, then our world will drastically change.

The philosophy of “I think, therefore I am” will be replaced by “I think, therefore I am fat”. Imagine a world where there will be less thinking than is currently practiced. You will not be able to ask anyone, “Who do you think will win?” or “What did you think of that movie?” No one will want to think and gain weight.

Most weight gain can be minimized if we exercise regularly. I always find when I go for a walk that I spend a lot of time thinking and that will have to stop. The exercise factor and my ‘thoughtful’ stroll will cancel each other out.

I am sure that politicians will love this new research. They will not be confusing voters with alternative choices regarding policy and ideology. Voters will not be asked to weight the facts, as that will just encourage thinking, so they should make their political choices on blind faith. Many voters I would imagine would be very cautious about doing anything that might result in gaining a few pounds!

The researchers are attempting to use their findings (on a sample size of fourteen subjects) as one of the root causes of increased obesity in most western societies. Personally, I boldly think (at the risk of a pound or two) they are out to lunch (figuratively speaking). Weight gain, in either a thinking or a non-thinking species, is based upon the universal equation of ‘calories in’ must equal ‘calories out’, or there will be weight gain.

Rather than studying the relationship between thinking and weight gain, we should undertake a comprehensive study of the relationship between university research and the IQs of the researchers!

PS After some careful reflection and serious study, I have decided to take advantage of the above research to quit thinking and thus blogging. It has provided me with a novel rationale to direct my limited skills to some other writing endeavor. Thus this is it – the last blog!

It is time to move on and on and on! Thanks Lydia for reading it. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!